Post by Seraphim on Apr 8, 2005 10:25:24 GMT -5
...Was a very interesting night for me, I thought I would share. So I spent all afternoon with my mom because she just got four shots in her back and I have to help her do everything 'cause she's in alot of pain. At about seven I went in the dinning room to do my homework and at eight I sat down to watch the O.C. about half way through the O.C. I found out that after nearly 20 years, my mother was drunk. This really upset me because that leaves no one but me in my family who doesn't drink. I felt really alone, I have recently lost a good friend/ex-boyfriend, my dad drinks, me and my sister are not close anymore, one of my best friends is moving away and I just felt alone, I knew I still had God, but I still felt so alone, so I went out side to my little garden where I pray and cried my eyes out, I cried out to God that he would help me and save my mother. I can't/couldn't stand the thought of my mother becoming an alcholic again.
For some reason, my eyes burn really really bad every time I cry so I had to get my self under control fairly quickly. I breathed deep and said to myself, "It doesn't matter. It is temprole(sp?). If a myrter can sing while being burned at the stake, I can get through this." so I went in my room, sat on my bed, looked at my floor and to Satan I said, "No." I then layed down to finish up my homework. No more than five minutes later my mother came in asking for forgiveness, telling me that she didn't want me to think less of her, and I don't, I know who she is and an alcoholic is not her, a bad mother is not her. But what touched me and encouraged me was the fact that I saw more than guilt on her face, I saw conviction.
I cried out and God heard my cry. There aren't really words to describe it, but I saw God move last night.
For some reason, my eyes burn really really bad every time I cry so I had to get my self under control fairly quickly. I breathed deep and said to myself, "It doesn't matter. It is temprole(sp?). If a myrter can sing while being burned at the stake, I can get through this." so I went in my room, sat on my bed, looked at my floor and to Satan I said, "No." I then layed down to finish up my homework. No more than five minutes later my mother came in asking for forgiveness, telling me that she didn't want me to think less of her, and I don't, I know who she is and an alcoholic is not her, a bad mother is not her. But what touched me and encouraged me was the fact that I saw more than guilt on her face, I saw conviction.
I cried out and God heard my cry. There aren't really words to describe it, but I saw God move last night.