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Post by Seraphim on Jun 17, 2005 22:51:42 GMT -5
My ex is back in my life. I'm sad.
I love him and I want to go out with him again, but I know it was a bad idea in the first place and every excuse I come up with keeps getting knocked down by the fact that my ex has never given me reason to trust him to sick with me and God said not to date him again. Things are so complicated between us. He wants to go out with me again...I can't do that, I don't know how to tell him that. I'm sad. I don't want to hurt him, but I don't see anyway around it...I need to stop thinking about this....
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Post by The Weak's End on Jun 19, 2005 21:40:09 GMT -5
Yes you do. Listen, if it bothers you that much, tell him. Tell him how much he hurt you, tell him you know it wouldnt work out. Just do it. Trust me.
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Post by Seraphim on Jun 19, 2005 22:17:03 GMT -5
I can't. I can talk myself up to doing it for hours, but the second on I hear his voice...my strength melts away like wax by a flame. When he calls I can't hang up the phone, I can't speak. When I see him in person I just want him to hug me and hold me forever. The only way I think I could tell him is if he got around to asking me out.
I'm happy today thought because I have camp tomorrow! And he's not going. lol! A whole week with out having to worry about him. Maybe I'll figure it out at camp too.
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Post by The Weak's End on Jun 20, 2005 17:27:43 GMT -5
Your so wrong is unbelieveable, you CAN do it. You CAN hang up the phone. You can do anything you want. You just need to stop thinking about it before you do it. Just do it. Havent you ever seen a Nike commercial?? Just do it. ;D Sorry, bad time to joke around. But seriously, he must be jerk if you want to say no. Maybe a week away will help everything sink in or something. Have a good time!!
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Post by Seraphim on Jun 26, 2005 21:58:55 GMT -5
Yeah. I do need to talk to him and now that I've stepped away from it for a week I'm pretty okay with just calling him. But I'm going to wait until sunday. He got thrown out of his dad's so he's staying with his sister who lives an hour or two away. He should be back Wensday but I'll wait to see if I see him sunday if he doesnt' show I'll call him and see whats up. I just want him to be okay. I want to be the friend who will try to keep him on track because no one else seems willing to. I dont' think God taught me how to forgive him so that I could go out with him again, but simply so that I can be the friend he needs. No one else is willing to forgive him so the weight keep building and he keeps falling.
I just want to look after him but I know its all kinds of bad to date him again. I plan on having a nice little talk with him but I'm not going to worry about it until I see or don't see him Suday.
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Post by The Weak's End on Jun 28, 2005 12:31:37 GMT -5
Good. So I dont have to hurt you. jk of course.
I understand that you want to help him. But you cant help someone who doesnt want to be helped.
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Post by Seraphim on Jun 28, 2005 17:29:46 GMT -5
I know, but the thing is he has told me several times that he does want help. He wants to change. Everyone just keeps letting him drop his resolutions.
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Post by The Weak's End on Jun 29, 2005 12:49:33 GMT -5
Are they letting him? Or do they just not know how to help. Not everyone is good at solving problems. Im not, thats for sure. You are. You've helped me solve more problems that I even knew I had. Theres a reason your helping this kid, what is that reason?
Because God told you to right? So, dont you think God can help you help him? I do.
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Post by Seraphim on Jun 30, 2005 0:23:03 GMT -5
Yep. I trust God can and will help me.
I don't think its so much that they don't know how to help, they don't even get to that point. They still hold all the stuff he did in the past against him because he keeps going back to it. So when he comes out of it, instead of taking his hand and helping him back up they just sit back and wait for him to fall again.
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Post by The Weak's End on Jun 30, 2005 7:36:39 GMT -5
Not everyone is nice. I hope you know that by now. Maybe there just not nice people, maybe they want to see him fall. Like its some kind of sick payback or something.
Just a thought. I think you need to give those people a life lesson and step up for them.
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Post by Seraphim on Jun 30, 2005 10:18:28 GMT -5
They're all christians too. You'd think they'd know better. I guess it could also be that he's not really a christian so maybe they don't feel obligated to help him.
I donno. I know he's hurt most of them too, but of all of us, I'm pretty sure he hurt me the worst and I got over it. I'd hope they could too.
My youth pastor wants to help him too, but I can see how I would have to do alot of it because I'm just more imporant to him than my youth pastor. It would mean more coming from me.
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Post by The Weak's End on Jul 1, 2005 19:16:40 GMT -5
Well then. It just sounds like you need to keep trying. I really dont know what else to tell you, I wish I did. I know you'll do the right thing, your a smart girl, you'll figure it out in no time.
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Post by Seraphim on Jul 2, 2005 17:42:14 GMT -5
Yep. I got it figured out pretty much...I hope so anyway. I just have to make sure I'm on my guard and don't get back into a relationship with him.
Somedays all I want is to be held by him again, but most days I'm okay.
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Post by The Weak's End on Jul 2, 2005 19:40:45 GMT -5
Yea, it can be hard to let go after a realationship with someone...I understand... But just, make sure you dont get hurt again...please...Im just looking out for you as best I can...
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Post by Seraphim on Jul 6, 2005 23:00:16 GMT -5
Ah! that boy drives me nuts! He vanished again! I can't get a hold of him at all. grr...
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